Bollywood Jokes SMS

Pani se Pyas na Buzi toh Mehkhane ki taraf nikla,
Socha k Shikayat karu teri Khuda Se,
lekin Khuda bhi tera Aashiq nikla….

10. Kuttay, Kameenay mai tumhe jaan se maar doonga
9. Mai tumhara ehasaan zindagi bhar nahin bhuloonga
8. Itnay paisay tum kahan se laaye?
7. Main tumharay bina mar jaa-oongi.
6. Bacchhhaaaaaooooo. ….
5. Yeh anyay hai bhagwan
4. Bataoo, heeray kahan hai.
3. Tum mere liye mar chuke ho.
2. Police meeray peechay lagi hui hai.
—-> And the number one statement is ….
1. Mai tumharay bachhe ki maa ban-nay waali hoon.

Baabu Ji ne kaha Paaro ko shod do,Paaro Ne kaha sharaab shod do,Aaj tumne keh diya Haweli shod do,ek din aayega jab wo kahegi …duniya hi shod do. Maa mera haweli ke kissi bhi hisse par koi kak nahi…par mein tumhara hissa hoon,jise tum kabhi khud se alag nahi kar sakti.
`
Ik ladki thi anjani si, ik ladke pe wo marti thi…
Jab milti thi wo mujhse , mujhse poocha karti thi ke pyar kaise hota hae pyar kaise hota hae aur mein bas yahi kehta tha….
`
Itni shidaat se main tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai,
hi har zaare ne mujhe tumse milane ki saazish ki hai.
`
Kehte hain ki …… Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaaho to puri kayanat usey tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai.
`
Aaj aap sabh ne mujhe meri chaahat se milaeya, thank you, thank you very much. Main aap sab ka shukar guzaar hoon.
Ki aapne mere kwabon ko yakeen mein badal diya, itna ki I feel like the King of thee World.
`
Aur aaj, is baat ka bhi yakeen ho gaya, ki humari filmon ki tarah humari zindagi mein bhi end mein sab theek ho jaata hai.
Happys Endings. Aur agar, aur agar theek na ho to woh the end nahin hai dosto, picture abhi baaki hai.
`
Senorita…
Bade bade desho mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai.

Guide
Aaj Main Kitni Aazadi Mehsoos Kar Raha Hoon!
Jism Jaise Maange Karna Bhool Gaya;
Man Tadapna – Tadpaana Bhool Gaya;
Jeevan Aaj Jaise Mutthi Me Hai !
Maut Jaise Ek Khel Hai!
`
Lagta Hai Aaj Har Iccha Puri Ho Gayi….
Par Ab Maza Dekho, Aaj Koi Iccha Hi Nahi Rahi !
`
Zindagi Pighalkar Prakash Ban Gayi…..
Aur Sacchaai Mera Roop Hai !
Tan Rahe Na Rahe , Mai Rahoonga!
`
Aag Mein Phek Do, Main Jalunga Nahi!
Talwaar Se Vaar Karo, Main Katunga Nahi!
Tum Ahankaar Ho, Tumko Marna Hoga;
Main Aatma Hoon, Amar Hoon!
`
Maut Ye Khayaal Hai Jaise Jindagi ye Khayaal Hai !
Na Sukh hai, Na Dukh Hai
Na Deen Hai, Na Duniya
Na Insaan , Na Bhagvaan
Sirf Main Hoon, Main Hoon, Main Hoon,
Main Hoon…Main ..Sirf Main !!
`
Anand

“Babu moshai, hum aane waale dukh ko kheench taan kar is pal main lee aate hain. Aisa kyon?”
`
‘Anand mara nahi. Anand marte nahi’
`
“Chela jaate jate guru ko sikhaa gayaa”
`
“Babu moshai zindagi aur maut uparwale ke hath hai jahapana, jise na aap badal sakte hain na main. Hum sab to rangmanch ki kathputliyan hain jiski dor us upar wale ke haathon main hai kab, kaun kahan uthega ye koi nahin janta “
`

1. Never Try To Be Successful
Success is the bye-product. Excellence always creates success. So, never run after the success, let it happen automatically in the life.
2. Freedom To Life
Don’t die before actual death. Live every moment to the fullest as you are going to
die today night. Life is gifted to humankind to live, live & live @ happiness.
3. Passion Leads To Excellence
When your hobby becomes your profession and passion becomes your profession. You will be able to lead up to excellence in the life. Satisfaction, pleasure, joy and love will be the outcome of following passion. Following your passion for years, you will surely become something one day.
4. Learning Is Very Simple
Teachers do fail. Learners never fail. Learning is never complicated or difficult. Learning is always possible whatever rule you apply.
5. Pressure At Head
Current education system is developing pressures on students’ head. University intelligence is useful and making some impact in the life but it cannot be at the cost of the life.
6. Life Is Emotion Management Not Intelligence Optimization
Memory and regular study have definite value and it always helps you in leading a life. You are able to survive even if you can make some mark in the path of the life. With artificial intelligence, you can survive and win but you cannot prove yourself genius. Therefore, in this process genius dies in you.
7. Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention
Necessity creates pressure and forces you to invent something or to make it happen or to use your potentiality. Amir Khan in this film, 3 idiots, is able to prove in the film by using aqua guard pump at the last moment.
8. Simplicity is Life
Life is need base never want base. Desires have no ends. Simplicity is way of life and Indian culture highly stresses on simple living and high thinking, and this is the way of life: ‘Legs down to earth and eyes looking beyond the sky’
9. Industrial Leadership
Dean of the institute in 3 idiots is showing very typical leadership. He has his own principles, values and ideology, and he leads the whole institute accordingly. This is an example of current institutional leadership. In the present scenario, most of the institutes are fixed in a block or Squarish thinking.
10. Importance Of One Word In Communication
If communication dies, everything dies. Each word has impact and value in communication. One word if used wrongly or emphasized wrongly or paused at a wrong place in communication what effect it creates and how is it affected is demonstrated very well in this movie.
11. Mediocrity Is Penalized
Middle class family or average talent or average institute is going to suffer and has to pay maximum price in the life if they do not upgrade their living standards. To be born poor or as an average person is not a crime but to die as an average person with middle class talent is miserable and if you are unable to optimize your potentiality and die with unused potentiality then that is your shameful truth. One should not die as a mediocre. He/she has to bring out genius inside him/her and has to use his/her potentiality to the optimum level.

Aamir Khan – Aamir Hussain Khan
Ajay Devgan – Vishal Devgan
Ajit – Hamid Ali Khan
Akshay Kumar – Rajiv Bhatia
Amitabh Bachchan – Amit Srivastav
Ashok Kumar – Kumud Ganguly
Bobby Deol – Vijay Singh Deol
Dev Anand – Devdutt Pishorimal Anand
Dharmendra – Dharam Singh Deol
Dilip Kumar – Yusuf Khan
Govinda – Govinda Arun Ahuja
Jeetendra – Ravi Kapoor
John Abraham – Farhan Abraham
Johnny Lever – Badruddin Qazi
Kamal Haasan- Alwarpettai Aandavar
Kumar Gaurav – Manoj Tulli
Lucky Ali – Maqsood Mehmood Ali
Madhubala – Mumtaz Jehan Begum Dehlavi
Mahima Chaudhry – Ritu Chaudhry
Mallika Sherawat – Reema Lamba
Manoj Kumar – Hare Krishna Goswami
Nana Patekar – Vishwanath Patekar
Raj Kumar – Kulbushan Pandit
Rajesh Khanna – Jatin Khanna
Rajnikant – Sivaji Rao Gaekwad
Rekha – Bhanurekha Ganesan
Salman Khan- Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan
Sanjeev Kumar – Haribhai Jarivala
Shammi Kapoor – Shamsher Raj Kapoor
Shashi Kapoor – Balbirraj Kapoor
Sunil Dutt – Balraj Dutt
Sunny Deol – Ajay Singh Deol
Tuntun : Uma Devi Khatri